Confucius once described the harmony between husband and wife and children as "the music of lutes and harps". The influence of Confucius on Chinese family life is still felt today. However, a great deal has changed since the creation of the People's Republic.

In 1950, the new communist rulers introduced a new marriage law; it was the first law enacted in communist China, even before the constitution. By outlawing age-old practices like concubinage, bigamy, the bartering of brides and dowry, the new rulers signalled a break with the feudal marital system and redefined the relation between family and state.

Family life in China has undergone equally radical changes in the post-Maoist era. The first single parent's club in China was set up in Beijing, reproductive services have been made legal for single women, telephone advice lines for gays have been set up in Shanghai, and the Divorce Club of Shanghai was launched on Valentine's Day this year.

With the introduction of market reforms, increased urbanization, a rising level of prosperity and education, and growing private responsibility, Chinese family life is increasingly reflecting trends in the West.

 
One-child policy
However, a unique aspect of family life in China is the country's one-child policy, which has been enforced by the authorities since about 1978 and which restricts families in the cities to one child only. In the countryside, couples may try for a son if the first-born is a daughter, and exceptions are made for certain regions and minorities.

Nevertheless, the one-child policy has had a profound effect on the relationship between parents and children, the status of women, marital prospects, education, urban planning and even the design of cars. The first generation of children of the one-child policy have now reached adulthood and are developing their own unique new view of family life.

 
The one-child policy has succeeded in bringing down the birth rate from 26 percent to 8 percent a year. However, the traditional importance of male lineage and of the son as a support to the whole family, especially in rural areas, in combination with reproductive technology and the one-child policy, has resulted in a serious sex-ratio imbalance in China today.

Lonely hearts club
The gender imbalance has now reached 120 boys for every 100 girls born. It is believed that 40 million men will not find wives in the next ten years, some of them are already living in "bachelor ghettos", and China has been described as "the world's biggest lonely hearts club". Cases have been reported of women being abducted, and because of the importance of carrying on the male lineage, some men resort to sharing or borrowing a wife, who is then free to go after she has produced a son. The authorities have tried to deal with the sex-ratio imbalance by, for example, forbidding prenatal sex screening.

 
The problem is compounded by the migration of a huge "floating population" of productive rural adults to the factories and cities where their labour is fuelling China's economic boom. There are villages where children and the elderly are left behind to care for each other. Few migrant rural women are willing to return to the countryside. They hope to find urban husbands in order to obtain urban registration, so they can qualify for better housing, pensions, jobs and health care schemes.

 
Change, not decline
In contrast to the rural population, young educated urban professionals are facing very different problems when it comes to marriage and family life. With the increased privatisation of education, health care and care for the elderly, they are under enormous pressure to get excellent grades, to get into university and compete for good jobs. That means postponing marriage until they can afford to buy an apartment and provide well for a child. The average marrying age is now 28 for men, 27 for women.

The nuclear family is quickly becoming the norm, especially in the cities, where 60 percent of families consist only of parents and children. Extended families, including all one's cousins and grandparents and aunts and uncles, get together to renew their bonds at least once a year, especially during the Chinese Spring Festival. The first generation of offspring born under the one-child policy still have aunts and uncles and cousins, but many of their children will not.

All in all, family life in China is changing but is not by any means in decline. There is more emphasis on personal choice and freedom, more equality of the sexes, and there is an even stronger bond between parents and children than under the collective security of the Maoist era. 

The Music of Lutes and Harps was produced by Marijke van der Meer. The documentary was originally broadcast in May 2007 and was a Finalist in the category Human Relations at the New York Festivals.