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Sunday 21 December  

The State We're In - Flirtation, love, romance and polyamory

On air: 15 May 2010 0:30 (Photo: RNW)

More about:

The State We're In, 15 May 2010: We speak with a polyamorous couple, a wedding musician shares her observations, older Chinese couples married under Mao renew their visual vows, we meet a women who teaches the art of seduction and a TSWI producer talks about his unforgettable meeting with “Queen of Romance” Barbara Cartland.

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Love by numbers
Robyn and Jesus live together in Colorado, but they also have other emotional and sexual relationships. They are, in fact, polyamorous. As they tell Jonathan Groubert, they feel this arrangement has deepened their sense of intimacy, but it’s not without jealousy. We introduce Ben who is Robyn's “sweetie” and Jesus’s good friend. Ben also plays a song he’s written about polyamory.
Link - Loving More website
What the wedding musician sees
When it comes to wedding ceremonies, Penelope Bergen has seen it all. She’s played in a string quartet at dozens of weddings, and enjoyed the unique position to observe the different ways people choose to tie the knot. 
Wedding photos without Mao
When Mao ruled China, extravagant weddings and beautiful pictures were impossible… even dangerous. As Karen Meirik reports, some older Chinese couples are making up for lost time and taking the wedding pictures they always wanted.
The art of attraction
Kezia Noble doesn’t believe in chemistry, romance or mystery when it comes to attracting the fairer sex. As she tells Jonathan, for a fee, she can train almost any man to become a master of seduction.
Age is no barrier
TSWI producer Chris Chambers was 31 when he interviewed the nonagenarian, self-styled ‘Queen of Romance” Barbara Cartland. He wasn’t relishing the meeting at her country estate. It turned into an afternoon he will never forget.

  • Robyn and Jesus<br>&copy; Photo: RNW -
  • Robyn with family<br>&copy; Photo: RNW -
  • Ben<br>&copy; Photo: RNW -
  • Penelope Bergen<br>&copy; Photo: RNW -
  • Ms Shi and Mr Yan pose for their wedding pictures<br>&copy; Photo: RNW -
  • Ms Shi gets her make-up done<br>&copy; Photo: RNW -
  • The bride: Ms Shi<br>&copy; Photo: RNW -
  • Kezia Noble<br>&copy; Photo: RNW -
  • Dame Barbara Cartland<br>&copy; Photo: ANP/Kippa -
  • Love at the Helm by Barbara Cartland<br>&copy; Photo: Fantastic Fiction -


ghalikeen 27 April 2011 - 4:54pm / UK

Oh My God! I have fallen in love.Dont ask me with who?you will be shocked.

Evan 10 September 2010 - 6:26am

Restricting social freedoms is NOT part of communism...please stop referring to these things as communism.

Anonymous 23 August 2010 - 9:25pm / Netherlands

For those looking for a polyamory date ... look at

Behr 23 June 2010 - 6:28pm / USA

From a poly perspective, it's great to see poly becoming more mainstream and more people realizing you DON'T have to close the door on one lover to prove your love to another.

Variety is the spice of life!

Anonymous 30 May 2010 - 10:05pm / USA

Heard your response today (30 May) to listeners' comments about this show and why you did a show about a woman over 60 who has sex with younger men. You commented about prejudice about "the elderly" and sex. There is such prejudice, but since when do you lump 60-year-olds into that category? My grandmother wasn't 'elderly' at sixty, nor was my mother, and certainly I was not. Perhaps you should think about "the elderly" in more nuanced ways.

Anonymous 17 May 2010 - 6:17pm / USA

Loved the piece about the wedding musician...and inescapable pachelbel canon...very entertaining.

Penelope Bergen 18 June 2010 - 11:27am / Australia

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it. Unfortunately there were too many funny anecdotes that had to be cut out of that story or it would have gone on far too long!

jasmin 17 May 2010 - 3:10pm / India

But true love comes from within, it cannot be taught...

Behr 23 June 2010 - 6:31pm / USA

But your experiences in life shape who you are and your perspectives. A person who is beaten every day vs. one who is nurtured and praised will have a hard time learning to properly express love as well as finding love/value within themselves so in a way that is teaching people how to love.

Anonymous 16 May 2010 - 3:31pm / Lalaland

By the time you swear you're his, shivering and sighing, and he vows his passion is infinite,undying-lady make a note of this; one of you is lying.

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