Radio Netherlands Worldwide

I find Susan Robinson's story sad but also disturbing in many ways. She seems to give the impression that not being able to have a child somehow makes a person a little less than human. As a woman who is not fertile, I take offense to that. My husband and I have actually chosen not to have children. When we first got married, we thought that we would end up adopting children. We have been married for ten years and have decided that we like our lives without children. We still have friends, good times with family, and involvement in our community. I don't think that we are missing anything. I have no doubt that Susan finds her situation painful. I also think that she may be the type of person who has not been through much adversity in her life. After ten years, if they want children so badly, "why not adopt" is certainly a valid question. What would be wrong with giving a home to a child who needs it? One advantage that I had, is that I knew from a young age that I would not be able to have children. Susan is probably not used to the idea that our bodies are not always perfect. After ten years, she should have worked through some of that. A part of me really thinks, sister, you need to get over it and move on. I know that sounds cold, but honest. (If she has experienced a miscarriage or a stillbirth, that of course is different than just infertility. You don't get over that.) But if she really wants a child, no one is stopping her. She and her husband can adopt anytime. They have chosen to keep themselves mired in a painful process (infertility treatments) for ten years. That ultimately only hurts them.