With his thoughts still with those remaining behind in Afghanistan, Michel Rentenaar arrived back in the Netherlands, just days before the cabinet fell over what has become known as the 'Uruzgan question'. Coming home now feels more like a step backwards, he writes.
 
Michel Rentenaar was the civilian leader of Task Force Uruzgan and the director of the Provincial Reconstruction Team in the southern Afghan province until he handed over to his successor in January.
This is the last in a series of columns he has written for Radio Netherlands Worldwide.
 
Two weeks ago my mission in Afghanistan came to an end. In Uruzgan we worked from 7 am until 11 pm, seven days a week. Coming home from such a mission feels a bit of a letdown, like driving at 150 kilometres an hour in fifth gear, then suddenly going into reverse. After a quiet weekend, I needed to get going again.
 
First and foremost, of course, I had to brief the minister, who offered kind words of thanks. Also, there were a number of media appearances lined up for me. Before one broadcast, someone tactfully asked me whether I was aware that two million people watch this show and that I needed to be careful what I said. Also, there have been a lot of lectures, plus research into my experiences of, amongst other things, the civil-military partnership in Uruzgan.
 
A lot of talking
Then I went on to Oberammergau, where the NATO training school asked me to give a lecture on the work of the Provincial Reconstruction Team in Uruzgan. It's an idyllic snow-covered village in the southern German Alps. There couldn't be a greater contrast with Camp Holland in Tarin Kowt back in Uruzgan.
 
It's a delightful thing to talk through the mission in such a manner. Because now I am beginning to realise what a tremendous time I had in Afghanistan. What an extraordinary job - something I will never forget. I smiled when other countries consistently praised the Dutch approach as an example to others, and when one of those countries announced it's going to adopt the idea of the female platoon in Uruzgan.
 
Those left behind
In truth, my mind is still in Uruzgan, with all the Afghan contacts I made there. Their enormous dedication to rebuilding the country has made a deep impression on me. My thoughts are also with my successor, Jennes de Mol, to whom I wish huge success, and the same amazing time and experiences as I had myself. But most of all, my thoughts are with those I have left behind:

My deputy Jan Willem Beaujean, who started two months later than me and will be coming home at the end of March; the men and women of the Provincial Reconstruction Team number eight (PRT-8) which I led, and who will also be coming home at the end of March; the PRT mission teams who work every day on the further rebuilding of Uruzgan, and  the Police Mentoring Teams who patrol alongside the Afghan police to bring more safety to the streets.

For me, the mission will only really be over when I see each of them return safely and can welcome them home at Eindhoven airbase.
 
Fall of the cabinet
Then it was Friday evening, 19 February. Like many other people, I sat glued to the box, watching the Dutch cabinet fail to reach consensus over the Dutch mission in Uruzgan. Unfortunately, all compromises and alternative proposals were rejected, and suddenly my coming home felt like a great step backwards.
 
The following morning I rang Camp Holland to give them my support and to wish my best to Task Force Uruzgan and the Provincial Reconstruction Team for their last couple of months in Uruzgan. They're still doing an extraordinary job every day - a peace mission that I believe is still essential in 2010.
 
Wishes for Uruzgan
It looks as if the Dutch politicians believe the Netherlands has done enough. Only time will tell whether that's the case in Uruzgan too. I hope with all my heart - and I am sure I speak for the 20,000 other Dutch citizens who have served in Afghanistan - that Uruzgan will not revert to the times and conditions of the past. Let's hope that it has indeed been enough.