The race for the presidency of the European Union is turning into a French farce; as one candidate pops up behind the sofa another one disappears through a door only to reappear in the window, all the while followed by fawning sycophants (journalists) and teased by saucy maids (the various presidents and prime ministers). But none of the (non-) candidates will commit themselves to anything so the non-race is still just that, a non-race, albeit quite an interesting one.

In the race, out of the race? Another non-candidate for EU president
Front page headline in this morning's Trouw reads "Balkenende's EU chances slump," while AD goes for the more direct "Belgium's van Rompuy formidable opponent for Balkenende". Trouw writes that Belgian Prime Minister Herman van Rompuy has been "tipped as favourite for the post of EU president".

The Protestant daily reports that yesterday, an unnamed European diplomat told the French AFP press agency that during last week's European Union summit, none of the 27 EU leaders raised any objection to the Belgian PM: "They agreed on him, something of a rarity among the 27 EU leaders. None of the other candidates can count on unanimous support".

Whether Mr van Rompuy will take the job if it is offered is another matter entirely; the paper writes that, when his name first came up in September and he was asked to respond, he ducked the question. AD writes that speculation has been rife in the Belgian media over the last few days, a situation mirrored here in the Netherlands.

A column in NRC Handelsblad compares the smokescreen thrown up by all the non-candidates with "the conclave of cardinals choosing new pope at the Vatican".

Mudslinging in The Hague: Wilders hits back
AD reports that another round of mudslinging between Freedom Party (PVV) leader Geert Wilders and the rest of the Dutch political establishment kicked off at the weekend after three sociologists published an article in de Volkskrant saying the PVV is an extreme right-wing party and Geert Wilders is a threat to democracy.

AD says Mr Wilders responded angrily, "I'm furious, they're absolutely crazy. We are democrats in heart and soul". AD writes that the ink was not yet dry on Mr Wilders' response before D66 leader Alexander Pechtold said, "Wilders is a racist and an extreme right-winger," and Integration Minister Eberhard van der Laan said, "the PVV is a threat to the state".

The far right leader responded by calling Mr Pechtold and Minister Van der Laan, "the political accomplices of Mohammed Bouyeri" - the Muslim fundamentalist who murdered filmmaker Theo van Gogh.

According to a reader's poll in the populist De Telegraaf, 75 percent of respondents say “the threat posed by the PVV is exaggerated” and it is "nonsense" to call Mr Wilders an extreme right-winger.

Too many unqualified teachers in classrooms
AD covers Wednesday's launch of a new education ministry website that will allow parents to see how many unqualified people are working as teachers at their child's school. The launch comes just two days after a new teachers union, Teachers in Action (LIA), announced that unqualified teachers conduct 25 percent of lessons. LIA board member David Geneste tells the paper, "the situation has been like this for years, but nothing has been done to resolve it".

The organisation says there are around 25,000 people giving lessons that either do not have a teaching certificate or do not have the right qualifications. Mr Geneste says it has a negative impact on the quality of education: "Eight out of 10 unqualified teachers do a good job, but two don't."

There is a chronic shortage of teachers in the Netherlands and the LIA says allowing unqualified people to teach masks the shortage.

One social studies teacher tells the paper: "I've been giving geography lessons and I know a gym teacher who has been teaching maths". No wonder kids in this country have trouble reading, writing and doing maths.

Huge rise in number of criminal girls
NRC.next reports that girls are rapidly catching up with the boys when it comes to criminality; the number of criminal cases against girls has tripled in the last 13 years according to the latest figures from the Dutch Statistics Office. In 1995, the Public Prosecutor's Office and the courts dealt with just over 2200 cases involving girls; by 2008, that number had risen to just over 6,800.

Trouw reports that number of criminal cases against boys during the same time period also rose but not nearly as fast; in 1995, there were 21,000 cases brought against boys, rising to 31,000 in 2008. The paper says the number of criminal cases against minors also rose from nine percent in 1995 to 15 percent in 2008. The Protestant paper writes, somewhat laconically, the justice ministry had expected that criminality among young people would stabilise.

Recession hits the Sint
The recession works in mysterious ways and has hit a peculiarly Dutch institution: Sinterklaas, or as he is known in English Saint Nick. AD reports that Job Janse's Saint Nick Centre has been hit hard by the recession and the number of bookings by schools and companies has dropped dramatically because "300 euros per hour is far too expensive".

Mr Janse says his company, which mainly operates in the wealthy Gooi area, provides "deluxe Saint Nicks", wearing beards and wigs made from real hair and velvet tabards lined with gold silk. Mr Janse has refused to lower his prices because "quality costs money," adding, "children aren't stupid, they can spot a fake Saint Nick".