Anita’s teenage daughter, Angelique, fell prey to 'Loverboys' (men posing as potential boyfriends, who morph into violent pimps) three times. But Anita never gave up hope that her daughter would one day return to her.
Angelique was forced to work as a prostitute for two years, but she did eventually return home. Now Anita is the driving force behind a foundation dedicated to stopping 'Loverboys'
Link - Stop Loverboys Now Foundation (Dutch language website)
Angelique’s rescue as shown on the Dutch TV show Vermist (Missing):
Taken from the latest edition of The State We're In - Loverboys
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I appreciate an article about this topic that is a bit more subtle than the traditional lurid morality tale. The thing I find disturbing is the lack of any hints about how to teach or give our girls what they need to avoid the snakes.
My friend's little sister (I'll call her 'Baby') fell under the power of a pimp/drug dealer when she was 14. Family and state support got Baby out of that life, but now, at 18, she seems to be falling back into it. In Baby's case I know the father was both distant and abusive, and the mother is somewhat mentally ill. I think only extensive therapy plus family support could change Baby's engrained self-destructive patterns. Alas, we're in the US, so she probably won't get it. Meanwhile, she has a baby herself, so a new generation is being trained in these patterns.
Her 4 sisters all managed to create decent lives for themselves in spite of the crappy home situation; only Baby fell. What made the difference?
Because I know them all, I have an opinion: Big Sister connected strongly with Grandma and a few other relatives. Together they protected the other sisters and gave them a model for how to treat others. They had enough emotional nourishment to grow normally. By the time Baby started puberty, the mom had cut off almost all communication with Big Sister, and Grandma was too old to help. Baby was emotionally starved.
Keeping the lines of communication open is nice, but the article doesn't give me enough to convince me that that was all Angelique needed to turn her life around. I know it wasn't enough protect Baby.
In short, I completely understand the suffering of Anita and Angelique, but worry that a 'solution' that ignores the causes of Angelique's vulnerability - the buttons the loverboys could push - leaves girls just as emotionally hungry as before.
* Where was Dad?
* Where were the grandparents and the siblings and family friends?
* If Anita could go back in time, what would she do differently?
* Now, as an adult, can Angelique articulate what she needed to give her the emotional strength to resist the predators?
I appreciate an article about this topic that is a bit more subtle than the traditional lurid morality tale. The thing I find disturbing is the lack of any hints about how to teach or give our girls what they need to avoid the snakes.
My friend's little sister (I'll call her 'Baby') fell under the power of a pimp/drug dealer when she was 14. Family and state support got Baby out of that life, but now, at 18, she seems to be falling back into it. In Baby's case I know the father was both distant and abusive, and the mother is somewhat mentally ill. I think only extensive therapy plus family support could change Baby's engrained self-destructive patterns. Alas, we're in the US, so she probably won't get it. Meanwhile, she has a baby herself, so a new generation is being trained in these patterns.
Her 4 sisters all managed to create decent lives for themselves in spite of the crappy home situation; only Baby fell. What made the difference?
Because I know them all, I have an opinion: Big Sister connected strongly with Grandma and a few other relatives. Together they protected the other sisters and gave them a model for how to treat others. They had enough emotional nourishment to grow normally. By the time Baby started puberty, the mom had cut off almost all communication with Big Sister, and Grandma was too old to help. Baby was emotionally starved.
Keeping the lines of communication open is nice, but the article doesn't give me enough to convince me that that was all Angelique needed to turn her life around. I know it wasn't enough protect Baby.
In short, I completely understand the suffering of Anita and Angelique, but worry that a 'solution' that ignores the causes of Angelique's vulnerability - the buttons the loverboys could push - leaves girls just as emotionally hungry as before.
* Where was Dad?
* Where were the grandparents and the siblings and family friends?
* If Anita could go back in time, what would she do differently?
* Now, as an adult, can Angelique articulate what she needed to give her the emotional strength to resist the predators?
I appreciate an article about this topic that is a bit more subtle than the traditional lurid morality tale. The thing I find disturbing is the lack of any hints about how to teach or give our girls what they need to avoid the snakes.
My friend's little sister (I'll call her 'Baby') fell under the power of a pimp/drug dealer when she was 14. Family and state support got Baby out of that life, but now, at 18, she seems to be falling back into it. In Baby's case I know the father was both distant and abusive, and the mother is somewhat mentally ill. I think only extensive therapy plus family support could change Baby's engrained self-destructive patterns. Alas, we're in the US, so she probably won't get it. Meanwhile, she has a baby herself, so a new generation is being trained in these patterns.
Her 4 sisters all managed to create decent lives for themselves in spite of the crappy home situation; only Baby fell. What made the difference?
Because I know them all, I have an opinion: Big Sister connected strongly with Grandma and a few other relatives. Together they protected the other sisters and gave them a model for how to treat others. They had enough emotional nourishment to grow normally. By the time Baby started puberty, the mom had cut off almost all communication with Big Sister, and Grandma was too old to help. Baby was emotionally starved.
Keeping the lines of communication open is nice, but the article doesn't give me enough to convince me that that was all Angelique needed to turn her life around. I know it wasn't enough protect Baby.
In short, I completely understand the suffering of Anita and Angelique, but worry that a 'solution' that ignores the causes of Angelique's vulnerability - the buttons the loverboys could push - leaves girls just as emotionally hungry as before.
* Where was Dad?
* Where were the grandparents and the siblings and family friends?
* If Anita could go back in time, what would she do differently?
* Now, as an adult, can Angelique articulate what she needed to give her the emotional strength to resist the predators?
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