A questionnaire distributed by Radio Netherlands Worldwide (RNW) to a thousand Dutch expatriates living in all corners of the globe has revealed that campaigns against HIV/Aids have resulted in increased openness about sex. Answers to the RNW questionnaire are very revealing about sexual morality across the world.

By Marijke Koeman and Belinda van Steijn

Almost half of the respondents said that sexual norms in the country where they reside have changed for the better in recent years. There is more openness and better information. The respondents say that campaigns to prevent the spread of HIV/Aids and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) have contributed to increased openness. A huge majority say sexual norms in the Netherlands are better, or the same as, those in their adopted country: "In the Netherlands, sex isn't such an issue," and "there's a far wider acceptance of homosexuality in the Netherlands".

Hypocrisy
Just as in the Netherlands, advertising, television programmes and video clips influence discussions about sex in their adopted countries. One respondent wrote, "opinions in Australia are still very conventional," adding, "explicit images confirm and maintain stereotypes when they could be used to help people look past stereotypes". A respondent living in Indonesia said, "there is a great deal of hypocrisy here, they condemn Western countries for their attitudes towards sexuality and believe their attitudes towards sex are far superior. But there are far more unwed young mothers here even though they never have sex before marriage. And men cheat on their wives as a matter of course".

Discussions about condoms and the pill
The average Dutch expat doesn't conform to the sexual norms in his/her adopted country: "I sometimes start discussions about homosexuality," says one while another says "I tell Muslim women about condoms and the pill. Some of them followed my advice and started using contraceptives". An expat now living in Wales wrote: "There are so many teenage pregnancies in Wales, mainly because there is almost no sex education here. I do try and talk about it to people."

A respondent living in Asia said, "In general, Asians have a very different relationship with their children, it's far less open. Most of them are extremely jealous about the things that we can discuss with our sons. And they're amazed that we can discuss such intimate issues without being horribly embarrassed."

Religion
Many expats criticised the influence that religion exerts on the sexual norms in their new country: "I think that Italians could be far freer, so many progressive people live here. But we're always reeled in by the Catholic Church, even though the church and state are officially separate". Another person said, "They are absolutely silent about aids or unwanted pregnancies because of their beliefs, that can never be good". An expat living in the US lambasted the hypocrisy, "it's almost impossible to have an intelligent, rational conversation about sex in the US. A group of self-proclaimed religious people try and force their ideas and norms on the rest of the country by restricting other people's freedoms".

Flirting as a compliment
Almost all of the respondents say they have adapted their behaviour at work or in social situations to conform to the norms in their new countries. They take into account the prevailing dress codes and conversational norms. One respondent wrote, "With American colleagues and employees, everyone behaves as though they're asexual and don't have normal emotions or feelings. You never know what's going to be classed as sexual harassment next. With colleagues from Europe, Canada or Australia, I can behave more normally, the way I would in the Netherlands. A friendly flirt is taken as a compliment and not seen as a threat".

Prostitution
The answers revealed that all countries struggle with prostitution. In northern Europe, prostitution laws have been tightened up, "Norway made it illegal to pay for sex in 2008," said one respondent, but governments in other countries are discussing legalising prostitution. A respondent in South Africa wrote, "Legalising prostitution is a huge discussion in the run-up to the 2010 Football World Championships".

Homosexuality
Homosexuality remains a taboo in many countries, and in others it is illegal and tough prison sentences can be imposed. One respondent said, I keep my homosexuality secret and give all sorts of excuses as to why I'm not married". Despite that, more than half the respondents said they wouldn't move if one of their children were lesbian or gay. A small group said that if that were the case, they would move back to the Netherlands.