Swimming
Pearls of sweat trickle down Rauf’s face. The well-built student stands at the side of a canal in Sehri Balol and takes a dive. The water looks dirty, but since there is no other place to swim the canal is full of bathers. “The water is nice and refreshing,” Rauf says with a beam on his face.

In the distance one can see mountains above the plains. The tents in the refugee camps on the other side of the canal are a reminder of the Pakistani army’s campaign against the Taliban in the Swat Valley, less than 50 kilometres away.

Gara and Iley
Many of the dozens of boys who jump into the canal with screams of laughter are refugees. They dive into the water in their salwar (wide pants) and sometimes in their plastic slippers as well.

Rauf says the nicest games are Gara and Iley, above-water tag and underwater tag. He is prepared to give an interview to show that most Pakistanis are nice people and not extremists.

Expectations
There are no girls present, since they cannot be seen in public by men who are not relatives without damaging their family’s reputation. Rauf says it is extremely difficult to find the right girl. “Our society is a very difficult one. We first have to marry before we can get to know one another. I would rather meet a girl first.”

Rauf’s friend and fellow student Atta Ullah Khan says they try to meet girls. “However usually our attempts do not succeed. I am not only interested in physical contact. I also want to know what her interests and dreams are. And what kind of future we can expect together.”

Khan says he has not gotten very far in his quest. “I had a brief experience in which we kissed and touched each other. But that only lasted some five or ten minutes. That is as far as you can go in our society. And of course you cannot do it in public.”

In love
Rauf is looking for true love. “I want to fall in love with someone. I want someone who teases me. I like the feeling of being teased. For instance, if I call and there is no answer, or if I write and don’t get a response. This kind of behaviour amuses me.”

Khan says that finding the right woman is a common topic of discussion. “We often talk about how we can marry or what makes the perfect girl.” However, most marriages in Pakistan are pre-arranged. Young men can, at most, turn down a girl. Usually they do not have a chance to look for themselves.

Rauf says the rules for girls are even harsher. Often they have nothing to say whatsoever. However, he says he would never marry a girl who does not want to marry him. He is looking for true love. His parents have accepted this, though they keep insisting that he hurry up and get married.

Insecure
The fact that his younger brother and sister and an older brother are already married makes Rauf insecure. “All of them are married, but I, the middle child, am not. Why? I don’t know. My brothers and sister were confident that they would be able to get by financially. A family costs a lot of money and the economic situation is poor. I don’t think I have the same confidence.”

Dreaming, however, does not cost anything. And it is easier now than it was before Rauf and Khan study at the university. In high school girls and boys are separated, but at the university they are in the same classrooms. Khan: “We often talk about our female classmates. Who would be the right one. I also know of a good match for Rauf!”

The right one
"She has a splendid and charming face. When she enters the faculty I see her perfect figure,” says Rauf. However, he has no intention of approaching her. You do not do that in Pakistani society.

Khan thinks they would make a good couple. She is just as easygoing as Rauf. She also has an open mind, just as his friend.

When asked if she is the perfect woman, Rauf laughs. “If you ask her, it would be very interesting to hear her reaction!” He gets up and dives into the water.

Listen to a Newsline report from Suzanna Koster in Pakistan: