“This is a mission impossible”, was my first thought when I watched the start of the Chilean rescue operation for the 33 trapped miners. I was glued to the television throughout the night and seriously doubted the capacity of the South American country to carry out such an intricate operation. But what if the mining accident had happened in Zimbabwe?

Had the accident happened at the controversial Chiadzwa diamond fields in eastern Zimbabwe; I wonder if the displaced villagers would have been allowed back by the military to come and witness as well as assist in the rescue operation.

As the Chilean operation became successful with the on-the-spot moral support of the president and cabinet ministers, I imagined that our own “head of state, government and military leader” would have had, with all the international exposure, strong words for the owners of the mine, especially if they were from Europe.

Consulting a traditional healer
Some blame would probably be placed on Western-imposed economic sanctions. And it would be an appropriate platform for politicians to justify the very noble, but hastily promulgated empowerment laws that give local blacks 51 per cent in all foreign-owned businesses.

“Where would our government ministers be when we would end a 69-day mining ordeal?” I wondered. Maybe they would be consulting Rotina Mavhunga the traditional healer who once convinced the entire cabinet that diesel would naturally burst out of a rock to end fuel woes. She was believed and taken very seriously. Only after embarrassing photographs of barefooted senior ministers receiving her instructions had done their damaging rounds on the internet, her trickery was discovered.

'Diamond boy' rewarded better
Outside my wild imagination, did I hear correctly that the Chilean miners will each get 10.000 US dollars as compensation for their heroic underground stay? If so, I would envy our “Diamond Boy” Munya, the Zimbabwean representative in the Big Brother All Stars reality television show, who will receive 300.000 dollars from some flamboyant local business people after being voted second best.

This outdoes the MNet Africa show organisers who awarded Uti, the Nigerian winner, with 200.000 dollars. Uti won the competition after being locked in with other contestants for 91 days. Not in a mine, 700 meters below the ground, but in a house - exposed for fun while they were talking about romance, sex and other obscenities. All screened live on international television!