About Ayo
Ayo Ojebode is ordinarily a lecturer in the Department of Communication and Language Arts, University of Ibadan, Ibadan, Nigeria. He's now a fellow at the Netherlands Institute for Advanced Studies in Humanities and Social Sciences (NIAS), Wassenaar, Holland. At NIAS, he’s trying to complete a research on media and the memory of dictatorial rule. To him, Holland and its people are a pack of paradoxes –simply complicated; lavishly frugal; attractively disgusting. Therefore, they attract keen attention and frank comments.
Thank you, Henk and Ingrid [Joe and Jill Average], for allowing me to stay in your country for another three months, against the wishes of your creator, the right-wing fiery speaker. He thought I would plant a bomb and spread a dangerous ideology.
He claimed that my presence in your country would make you poorer and more insecure. I leave you to judge for yourselves whether this was true. I love your wonderful country and thought I would soon return, but now I have changed my mind. Why? Not so much because your creator fears and hates me, but because now, things are much better in my country than I thought possible.
I returned home yesterday, and learnt that electricity supply in Nigeria had improved. We now have power for even up to three hours every day. Sometimes, the three-hour period is during the night, when everyone is asleep. Another time, the distribution window is divided into in five-minute installments. So, you see, we have made progress.
Second, the security situation has greatly improved. In your country, I rode my bicycle at any time, day or night. Once, I left my apartment at 4 a.m. and headed for Leiden through the forest. Such is the sense of security in Holland. But these days, in Nigeria, we aren’t doing badly either. The number and impact of bomb explosions have reduced. The recent one killed only 15 ordinary people and it was just the third incident that week. Not many people believe that the government can tame those wild fanatics in only a few weeks time.
I did not see a single police roadblock in your country, but the night that I arrived in Nigeria, I counted 20 roadblocks between Lagos and Ibadan, a distance of about 150 km — a clear sign that our government greatly cares about its citizens’ safety and security. And the police at roadblocks are friendly these days: motorists know that once you crumple the right naira note in your left hand, and move that hand in their direction, you’ll have no problem. Sometimes I wonder how you survive in your country without police roadblocks.
One other area where we are better than you is internet services. In your country, I had only one internet service provider. Back home, I see that friends now have five to six ISPs, and some have pouches in which they carry numerous internet modems. But then they grumble that at times all the six providers fail them woefully. Nevertheless, we are ahead of you, at least when it comes to the number of ISPs per citizen.
I must not fail to mention our tower clocks. Life in Holland was quite monotonous for me, because all your tower clocks ‘say’ the same thing. In Nigeria, if there are three clocks on a tower, each of the clocks will tell you something different, as if they were in different time zones. The difference between two Nigerian tower clocks may be as much as six hours. Variety is the spice of life. If all tower clocks ‘say’ the same thing, why do we need more than one clock on a tower?
Many more improvements were made during the time I spent in the Netherlands. Unfortunately, there’s no space to elaborate.
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I am not particularly thrilled by those "pretty" comments about our one and only country. We simply had to flaunt what we've got. But come to think of it, aren't we improving? A one time minister commented that telephone was meant for the rich, and so, for electricity. It is my fervent belief that when the redeemer returns we would have got more stories of Sodom and Gomorrah to tell. Aren't we thinking of legalizing lesbianism and homosexualism? Aren't we thinking of removing the non-existent oil subsidy so that the rich may become richer, and the poor, poorer? My HOD, the Lord is your strength. Welcome back to NYSC.(Now your suffering continues)-RAHEEM
Hmmmm! Intersesting and thought provoking article. This is the reality of the Nigeria we live in. How long will this continue?
Hi Ayo,
What a pity that this was your last 'Going Dutch'. Here at NIAS many fellows - most of all the Dutch - have enjoyed your witty and insightful observations of this tiny country. Maybe we will once see each other again in the corridors of some other office full of hard working people. All the very best for the New Year, also for your family, and greetings from rainy Wassenaar.
O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good and his Mercy endures forever...welcome sir. just before you rest sir, you forgot to mention another brilliant improvement by Nigeria. just yesterday, it was discovered that our president and his vice would be eating "food" to the tune of N920 million for a year,precisely in 2012 only. Sir! all animals are equal? eleyi oda, se erin ni won ma ma je lojojumo ni? regards from Ife and Isaac
Welcome back sir. Life continues after the dutch experience. May it (and we) continue to improve. Merry Christmas
Count your blessings and name then one by one. You did that and it was awesome! Why are we thus so blest?
Nigeria is unique anyway. There are millions of people suffering and experiencing untold hardship than the meagre percentage in the sister Arab Nations where the people resorted to war. I think we are somehow coward as Nigerians, we have ddeveloped a thick- skin to suffering. But when we totally hit the wall, some Nigerian Youths would take to the streets. I am not a prophet.
My brother, hallelujah for all those improvements! I thank God that you now have three hours of light in the middle of the night. You guys must be so excited! And for the clocks.... I now have to reconsider the saying 'Africans invented tim...e, but Europeans invented the clocks'. Guess we should give credit to Africans for clocks too..... creative clocks we should say.
I had to walk from the station to my house yesterday at 10 pm. My friend from PH was so worried, he sent me a message to ask me whether I was sure I would not meet street urchins on my way home. I had to ask him for explanation and he said he feared for me because of the bad guys that own the streets. I was walking close to my house and had to smile ear to ear. I looked at the houses around me, the quiet canal on my left, the christmas lights ahead of me and the people passing me.... and right then and there I thanked God out loud that I'm so grateful that I don't have to live in fear. On behalf of Henk en Ingrid I would say: let's hope that one day that guy can go out on the streets of Port Harcourt and think the same. Smile, without worrying. Turning off the light at 1 am in the morning, because it had been on for too long already. Rest assured that it will work again when he wakes up. Because only when the facilities are there, Nigerians (and other foreigners) do no longer want to come to Europe, they will no longer be of annoyance to Henk and Ingrid and their creator. Because then they will enjoy a zillion times better in their own environment. Tables will turn, but when?
No place like home, especially when you want to be melancholic...Welcome home!
I only want to talk about the tower clocks...Please do not be mistaken, the clocks represent the time zone for each of the three major tribes. Whose clock is faster, slower or correct? Ah! Please do not ask me. Pick one
This is ironically direct. We just pray Nigeria will get
There one day! What an interesting yet captivating way to
end the series! Where are our leaders please? Well, I think
We should make a resolve by speaking always on these
irregularities and calling our leaders to question.
Godwilling, things might change!
Welcome back to the continent! I will miss your stories of you going double Dutch!
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